Yesterday was the start of the Lent season in the Catholic calendar. A time where Jesus went into the desert and was tempted by Satan with all sorts of delicious thoughts and treats but Jesus stayed true. He told Satan off and remembered his spiritual training during his time. His focus always deeply footed in his love and devotion to God and that Satan’s temptation were pretty meaningless.

When I was kid, that basically works out to being sort of like a Catholic version of a New Year’s resolution. You’re supposed to give up something (usually eating candy or chocolate), go to church on Sundays, only eat fish on Fridays but overall it kind of meant nothing. As soon as Easter comes, (40 days later) you stuff your face and bunnies bring you candy in eggs.

A few months ago I was thinking about this story again. Catholics celebrate Lent but it’s pretty light. People are not really fasting, staying true to your teachings is an after thought and Jesus is in the desert for 40 days alone.. what is he doing in there? Praying? Meditating?

At the current moment, I’m in my own version of “Time in the desert”. I’m being mindful of my food consumption, my thoughts, my sleep patterns, everything. I have been tempted and have said no with a focus on this work because I know it’s what I need. I’m doing my best to stay humble, to stay in contemplation and to keep refining my thoughts. People get really worked up making changes to their lifestyle that they deem uncomfortable – no TV, no social, no sexual stuff. Yeah, it’s not the easiest but I’m always way more surprised seeing the emotions underneath that these things are covering. What is happening in your life that you’re avoiding with distraction? I’m starting to learn what that looks like for me. It’s way more emotionally challenging but I want to see. I’m doing this work to audit what the hell’s going on so I can release, move forward and grow. Some days I can see the horizon, the sun on my face and I remember that I am a son of spirit. Other days I’m in a total sandstorm and I’m holding on for my life.

I wonder if Jesus felt the same way…. He must have had bad days. He must have had days he felt bored. But he must have also seen the reason, seen his path and walked out when he was ready. I’m ready to leave parts of my former self in the desert and to step into the garden again.